Dear Linda:
We've had situations with Bryan that have consumed us.

Grampa died (someone that was very close to Bryan). Plus there have been some other major changes in his life.

He has had many incidents at school. There have been altercations in the classroom. He is talking about violent things. I can tell he is depressed.

He does not know how to handle himself when he is in stressful situations and his reactions are negative and have violent gestures.

There just aren't words to describe it. This is enormous.
I need help.
Bryan's Mom

I am sorry
I am sorry when families are going through crisis. Depression and violence are serious. You and your son need professional help and support while going through this.

Experiencing loss or change is difficult
Losing a special person or enduring major life changes can be difficult for all of us. But life crisis is exceptionally difficult for our students with autism & Asperger's. They have a hard time understanding and interpreting what is happening. They may not be able to ask the right questions. They usually have great difficulty expressing what is going on in their head and in their heart. They don't understand grief or stress or other emotions exhibited by family or other people in their lives.

Writing things down can help
Make a journal. Try writing with Bryan about some of the things that have been happening. It can be done typing on the computer or with pen and paper. Let him type or write if he has the capability. You do the recording if it is hard for him. Share the job if that seems appropriate.


Just focus on the thoughts and ideas, not on the mechanics of writing. Use one of those bound journal books or save the
pages in a binder.

Here is the goal
The purpose of the journal is to record what is happening. As you work together, write down what has been occurring. Start by
stating facts. Write how everyone feels about it. Use short
simple sentences.

Make this activity something that you do "together." Encourage Bryan to say or write whatever he knows and understands. Then you can fill in information and add some of your own. Do some fill-in-the-blank if that will help.

Here's an example
Grampa died.
We had the funeral on Wednesday.
This is what happened. . . . .
Aunt Mary and Uncle Joe came to the funeral.
We went to church.
Then we went to the cemetery.
It was at . . . . .
At the funeral I cried because . . . .
Grampa is in heaven.
That means. . . .
Mom misses grampa.
Sometimes she cries because she misses him.
But she knows he is in heaven so that makes her happy.
I miss grampa.

Then you can add more details to your story
I used to like to . . . . . . . with him.
Now grampa's house or clothes or furniture. . . . . .
I wonder why. . . .
I don't understand. . . .
I don't like. . . .
When I think about. . . .it makes me smile.
I liked it when grampa did . . . .

Keep adding more
Talk about all the details. In these entries talk and write about all the little stuff that the adults already know and assume but that Bryan may not understand in the same way. Just keep adding to the information. What may evolve is a lot of answers to questions that are in his head that don't come out easily.

The goal is "What else should we write about grampa" or "What else should we write about the funeral". It can touch all the emotions. What made us mad or sad or afraid or happy.

Save the journal stories
Reread them or add to them as you think of more to talk about. Help him think of things to write, but encourage him to think of his own things. If something comes up about grampa you can say "Let's put that in your journal."

Use this technique over again
You can do journal stories about other topics. For example, write about school in general. Or maybe write about a specific class
or teacher.

Some other topics
Think of those things that cause stress or where you can anticipate some behavior challenges.

• We are going to a new church
• We have a new neighbor
• Someone is sick
• I am going to a new school
• Someone is coming to visit
• Someone is going away

Have YOU attended Visual Strategies on TOUR? Plans are
being finalized for fall and winter dates. Can you join me in one
of these cities?

Check these locations:

• King of Prussia (Philadelphia), PA
• Dallas, TX
• Richmond, VA
• Kansas City, MO
• Santa Ana, CA
• Murfreesboro (Nashville), TN

How about a Halloween Treat!
Fall is a perfect time for training staff to effectively use visual strategies. Making a plan now will enrich the whole school year.

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This DVD ($29.95 value) has not been released for purchase yet, but I gave permission for it to be included as a FREE BONUS for anyone purchasing the Visual Strategies Workshop-VHS


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Did you ever read an e-Book?

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Give your educators effective tools to make a difference
with their students.

Linda Hodgdon, M.Ed., CCC-SLP is a Speech- Language Pathologist and a Consultant for Autism Spectrum Disorders. She is the author of the bestseller, Visual Strategies for Improving Communication, one of the most recommended books in the field of autism.

Internationally recognized as a powerful and informative speaker and consultant, Linda has presented her insightful and dynamic workshops to audiences of educators and parents worldwide.

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